I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
