Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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