You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
