I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
