Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
