dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize