The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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