hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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