The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Let's paint friendship bongs
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
