i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
