and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
two words...techno handjob
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
