come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
