Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
how drunk are you?
Several
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
