Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
