I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize