U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I have demons in me.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
