Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
That was an excessively violent trivia night
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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