The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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