I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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