Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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