his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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