and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
