You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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