Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
