Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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