Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
