my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
