: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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