When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
