Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
