We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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