I'm really into asian looking animals
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
