She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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