I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
