Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Randomize
