just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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