did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize
