found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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