I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
