Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
