Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Randomize
