Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
