I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
