drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
