you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
