i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize