Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
bring money and cleavage
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
