Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
