I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
