We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
birth control should be required to get into college
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
