I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize