What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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