I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
