Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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