She said her name was "party"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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