her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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