I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
